Hydrant 21 || The Ether Background of Living


This moment is forgotten— the inspiration lost in the ether background of living. But I can say this much, as a means of reaching for closure, stretching for a point beyond blue hydrants on greening grass, the last few days proved how one can become lost in their own rituals, not as in a rut, but in the stress of motioning forward day to day. Chores which should take a matter of minutes took hours: confirmation of a prescription at the pharmacy, driving across town to pick up my boy, feeding him as he squirms, as he resists the straps of the high chair, the limitations I place on him as a father— how soon does one's inner drive kick in? Is he already a viable personality struggling against authority, even as a ten month old? Yet, he still needs a sense of comfort and control; I must acknowledge that his want of my presence does overwhelm me often. Echoing my want to reply with confirmation of his identity, his stretching shadow across the kitchen floor in the afternoons—