Soft Pornography of Wikipedia

October 11th. In a sense, a waste of a day: took Brendan to early soccer practice. Watched an animated film after cups of coffee and a sugar roll with my parents. Took a nap with Brendan— then when he shifted into a deeper sleep I wandered through the internet for a few hours, half looking for a sense of a poem, but in reality distracted myself by following basic hunger drives. The soft pornography of Wikipedia: film plots, synopsis of graphic novels, background histories of comic book characters. There are times when the brain need to decompress—
Facing writer’s block over a ghazal. The poem leans too close to sentimentality— over drawn emotion. In part a ghazal requires such sense of loss, of absence— but I am trying to extend and twist the expectations towards a different perspective, which complicates the strict formula. And yet—
Slow responses from publishing houses only complicate matters. One would think my acceptance of others’ rejections would be less painful. A mere shrug of shoulders. A hand gesture through a small cloud of gnats. However, I have to take time out to complain in my journals. Waste minutes whining over lack of support.

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